للشباب فقط
تعليمات لمعاملة الأنثى ؟؟؟؟؟؟

1- إذا مشت بعيدا عنك وهي غاضبة !!! ألحق بها و لا تتركها.
2- إذا حدقت على شفتاك !!! قبلها.
3- إذا دفعتك أو ضربتك !!! امسكها و لا تتركها تذهب.
4- إذا شتمتك و سبت عليك !!! قبلها و قل لها أنك تحبها.
5- عندما تكون ضامتة غير متكلمة !!! اسألها اذا معها مشاكل و طمنها بأنك سوف تحل لها كل المشاكل.
6- عندما تجذبك اليها !!! اجذبها اكثر.
7- عندما تراها في أسوأ حالاتها الشكلية !!! أقنعها بأنه حتى هكذا شكلها جميل.
8- عندما تبكي !!! احضنها و لا تتكلم أي كلمة.
9- عندما تكون خائفة !!! احميها و طمئنها.
10- عندما تمازحك !!! مازحها و اجعلها تضحك.
11- عندما تنظر أليك بشك !!! دافع عن نفسك بقوة و ذكرها بأنك لا تحب غيرها.
12- عندما تقول البنت لك أنها معجبة فيك !!! فأنها تكون معجبة فيك أكثر مما تتخيل لأن البنت من الصعب أن تبوح بمشاعرها بسهولة, ولا تكذب في مشاعرها أبدا.
13- عندما تمسك بيدك !!! أمسك يدها والعب بأصابعها.
14- إذا قالت لك سر !!! احفظ سرها.
15- اذا قالت لك انها تريد الانفصال عنك !!! في داخلها تريدك ان تكون لها حتى لو قالت هذا.
16- ابقى على التلفون معها حتى لو كانت ساكتة.
17- اتصللها الساعة 12 صباحا يوم ميلادها و فل لها أنك تحبها و متيم فيها.
18- اتصللها قبل نومها و عندما تصحو.
19- عاملها و كانك ملكت الدنيا بوجودها.
20- عندما تمرض ابق بجانبها طوال اللبل.
21- اعطيها العالم كله.
22- اجعلها تلس ملابسك.
23- شاهد معها برنامجها المضل أو فلمها المفضل حتى لو كان غبيا.
24- اذا ركضت باتجاهك و هي باكية !!! أول شيء قوله لها ( حبيبتي من سوف أضرب اليوم ) و اجعلها تضحك.

صدقوني بعد 10 سنوات لن تنساك حتى لو تزوجت ….

نيكوول

I am passionate about Art…I once took a friend to the Tate modern in london. and came across a blank canvas!…My friends reaction was hardly surprising. He scoffed at it and walked away…But through an artists eye it all made sense. Modern art was born out of a reaction to the birth of the camera. the art of skillfully  creating a photo real image on canvas when the camera could do it in a fraction of a second had no value. Picasso quite rightfully said that all objects were three dimensional, so the camera had its limitations. Hence the reason some of his portrait were multi faceted images of different angles of one object. as if you were walking around the image..But what about the blank canvas? .. Think of any painting you like what you see is what you get. it is laid out for you…but take a white canvas and you are left with nothing but your own imagination!!!…suddenly that canvas has  infinate images as opposed to a masterpiece by a Canalletto, Rembrandt, or even Picasso. which despite its beauty will always be one image captured at that moment in time…

أجمل امرأة هي المرأة التي ترتعد كلمات الحب على شفتيها

المرأة تكره الرجل الغيور وتكره أكثر من لا يغار عليها

إذا أحبت المرأة الرجل لم تذل رجولته ابدآ

في الحب تنسى المرأة كرامتها.. وفي الغيرة تنسى حبها

النار أن تحبك امرأة غيورة .. والجحيم أن تحبها أنت

المرأة لا تولد شريرة .. وإنما تصبح كذلك عندما تغار

المرأة قلعة كبيره إذا سقط قلبها سقطت

قلب المرأة وردة لا يفتحها إلا الحب

أقسى عذاب لامرأة هو أن تخلص لرجل لا تحبه

المرأة التي تفقد حبيبها أحبت فقط

والمرأة التي تحتفظ بحبيبها امرأة أتقنت فن الحب

حياه المرأة ثلاثة عهود؟؟

العهد الأول .. تحلم بالحب

العهد الثاني .. تمارسه

العهد الثالث .. تتلهف عليه

عندما تصبح المرأة في حالة يأس .. فأن قلبها يصبح

كأكرة الباب .. أي أنسان يديرها يمينا وشمالا

مسكينة المرأة .. تشتد حاجتها للحب عندما لا تستحقه

لا شيء يجعل الدنيا ضيقة كامرأة تكرهها

ولا شئ يجعل الدنيا واسعة كامرأة تحبها

لا يفـسد الحـب إلا امرأة مـغرورة

إذا تعطشت المرأة للحب فتحت قلبها لأول طارق

مهما كانت المرأة جاهلة فأنها تعرف عن الحب

أكـثر مما يعرفـه أعلـم العلماء

المـرأة تحب عن طريق الأذن .. والرجل عن طريق العين

هناك طريقتين لقتل المرأة التي تحبك

يا أن تقتلها بصدق .. أو أن تحب غيرها

المرأة كالزهرة لاتتفتح إلا إذا نسقيها حب

حينما تقول المرأة .. أكرهك جدا .. لا اطيق رؤيتك

أود أن أطلق عليك الرصاص ..

اتمنى لقاء الموت ولا لقائك حينما تمقلب شعرها من البغض ..

وتعضعض أضافرها

من الغيض وتتمتم في وجه حبيبها وتقول أشوف العمى ولا أشوفك ..

حينها تكون في حالة حب وليست كراهية

الـقـبـح هـو حـارس المـرأة

جـمال بـدون شـرف .. زهـرة بـدون عـطـر

أن جمال المرأة لا يهمني إذا لم يعش لي وحدي

أن جمال المرأة لا يساوي شيئا إلى جانب سلوكها

الجمال هو العذر الوحيد الذي نغفر بـه للمرأة تفاهتها وحماقتها

المرأة الجميلة تسر العين .. والمرأة الصالحة تسر القلب .. الأولى جوهرة ثمينة .. والثانية كنز عظيم

إذا تحدثت المرأة الجميلة بالتفاهات ننصت إليها كأننا نسمع الحكمة

لتحذر المرأة الجميلة من القبيحة مثل ما يحذر الذكي من الغبي

أرجو ترسلولي ارأكو بصراحة و بدون زعل. اهم شيء الشفافية

This is not a joke. The European Union Court of Justice has ruled that working fathers in Spain have the same right to breastfeeding leave as do moms!! Now men can no longer complain about women getting an easy ride.

Of course now, people at work might ask: where you going? And you respond: I am taking a breast feeding leave!

Would you do it? Ask for breastfeeding time off? 

More on subject for those interested:Click here CNN

This news I am sure will bring very bad visuals to our brains. So better stop now before I lose my lunch!

What is the world coming to I wonder.

Thank you for reading.

Nahar

We’re very excited here at Araboosh to announce that we a job opening at Araboosh.com.  We’re looking for an enthusiastic motivated professional to help us launch Araboosh in the Middle East.

Job details:

Marketing Representative – a Part-Time position for a Marketing Representative (located in Egypt).

Job Duties:
– Deliver significant new customer sign-ups through creative, aggressive marketing.
– Produce daily, weekly and month-end creative and marketing campaign performance reports, and additional analyses as required.
– Collaborate with Araboosh design team to provide insight for creative ideas generation.
– Meet agreed minmum goals for new members registrations.

Requirements:
– Flency in English and Arabic.
– Assertive, ambitious, creative and team player.
– 2+ years experience in online marketing and generating internet traffic.
– Proven track record of success in driving internet traffic from targeted markets.
– Experience working for dating/social internet brands preferred.

Why join us:
• This position is part-time at the moment with a strong potential of becoming a full time position with an attractive pay (depending on performance).
• Be part of a young fun growing team of admins/bloggers/IT and other young Arabs with ambetiousions and dreams to make Araboosh the standards other Arabic social networking sites are judged by.
• A professional site with advanced features yet user friendly that is built by the community for the community.

If this sounds like your cup of tea (coffee/starbucks/insert your fav drink) and you are ready to be part of something big and fun (in a PG rated way), then we invite you to drop us a line.

Adam

حركات جسد الأنثى1- إذا المرأة حاولت جذب انتباه الرجل, فهذا يعني أنها مهتمة أو معجبة فيه.

2- إذا المرأة جلست موجهة أقدام أرجلها باتجاه الرجل, فهذا يعني أنها تملك مشاعر ناعمة تجاهه.

3- إذا المرأة استمرت باللعب بشعرها أمام الرجل فهذا بالتأكيد يدل على إعجابها به.

4- إذا المرأة اثناء كلامها مع الرجل كانت تلعب بمجوهراتها أو أي اكسسوارات تلبسها. فهذا بالأغلب يدل على انها وافعة بحبه.

5- أذا المراة كانت جالسة مع الرجل على طعام أو شراب أو محادثة, و كانت تنظر باتجاه الرجل بشكل مستمر و ثابت أو تواصلت معه بعينيها لفترة أطول من المعتاد, فهذا بالأكيد يعني الحب.

6- إذا حدق الرجل في المرأة, و ردت عليه بابتسامه, فهذا بعلم لغة الجسد يعني الحب.

نيكول

Why men are happier than women:

1. We keep our last name. 
2. We can walk around topless.
3. Chocolate is just a snack. 
4. We can go out without combing our hair.
5. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
6. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s bathroom is  just too icky.
7. Same work, more pay.
8. The older we get, the sexier we are (G Cloony!).
9. Wedding dress – $5000; tux rental – $100.
10. People never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them.
11. The occasional well-timed belch is practically expected.
12. We can do our Christmas shopping for 20 friends and relatives, on December 24, in 15 minutes!!
13. Phone conversations are over in 45 seconds flat.
14. A 2 week vacation requires only one suitcase.
15. We can open all our own jars.
16. We get extra credit for the slightest act of kindness.
17. Our underwear is $5.95 for a three-pack.
18. We get up and get out of the house with everything on our face stays its original color. 
19.  The same hair style lasts for years and years and only cost $10 per cut. 
20. We have freedom of choice when it comes to growing a mustache.

أستاذ  طربوش

1 – What you do if you notice a strange person of the opposite sex to your partner suddenly appear as a “friend” on your partners site….do you question the true intent….or respect your partners space and convince yourself and come to the realisisation that you have issues with jelousy?
2 – What if your partner put an application for are you interested or not…and when confronted responds by saying its nothing but harmless fun, just to boost the ego.
3 -What do you do if you walk past your partner and they suddenly cut conversation with the person they were talking to on fb….is there something to be suspicious of?….or has your partner a right to be scared that you will make an issue about nothing?
What do you do if your partner posts a picture of themselves in a provocative manner…are they being disrespectfull to you or are you just being a prude…
These are just a few issues that have plagued many relationships…has your relationship been affected by fb?…i would be interested to know the extent of this problem….and if you have any thoughts about the points I have brought up…

Sherif

وجود مادة الكافيين في الشوكولاته يشكل منشطا للجهاز العصبي ما يعطيه احساسا بالراحة والهدوء.

من المعروف أن النساء والفتيات يعشقن الشوكولا بدرجة كبيرة ويشعرن برغبة ملحة في تناولها بعد كل وجبة على الأقل، وخصوصا بعد وجبة الإفطار للحصول على إحساس فوري بالهدوء والسعادة، ولكن ما هو سر هذا الغرام الكبير بهذه الحلوى؟

أوضح أخصائيو التغذية والسمنة وعلاج الألم، أن سر الإحساس بالابتهاج والراحة النفسية بعد تناول الشوكولا يرجع إلي مادة الكافيين الموجودة فيها التي تعتبر منشطا فعالا للجهاز العصبي وعاملا مهما يخلصه من التعب والإجهاد فيتولد علي الفور إحساس بالراحة والهدوء والسعادة فضلا عن وجود مواد أخرى طبيعية تشبه المركبات الدماغية المسؤولة عن المزاج.

وقال هؤلاء في مجلة “المرأة” المتخصصة إن الشوكولا تحتوي على نسبة من السكر تساعد في رفع مستويات هرمون السيروتونين المنظم لمزاج الإنسان محذرين من أن تناول هذه النوعيات من الحلوى يؤدي إلي إدمانها فيفتقدها الجسم إذا حرم منها ويعاني من الإحساس بالإحباط والكآبة لذا ينصح بتناول قطعة صغيرة منها بشرط أن يتم تناولها ببطء للاستمتاع بمذاقها الطيب أولا، ولمنح مراكز الإحساس بالشبع الموجودة علي طرف اللسان فرصة الاكتفاء بهذا القدر القليل لرفع مستوى هرمون السيروتونبن في المخ.

ومع ذلك فقد أظهرت الدراسات أن الحلوى أو الشوكولا وحدها لا تكفي لرفع الروح المعنوية وتحسين المزاج بل يجب أن يصاحب ذلك ممارسة الرياضة لمدة 30 دقيقة على الأقل يوميا، لأنها تشجع الجسم على إفراز هرمونات طبيعية تخلصه من الإحساس بالألم والتعاسة والتوتر وتعكر المزاج منقول

المرأة مخلـوق يتمتـع بميـزة الأنوثــة،

وهذا من مميزات جمالها ،
جمال لا نراه ولا نلمسه،
لكن نشعر به من أدقّ تفاصيلها وتصرفاتها،
بهمساتها..
حنانها..
طباعها..
وغيرها الكثير الذي يدوي صدى مميزاً نستشعره بصمت ليقول:

أنا أنثى بكل معنى الكلمة

المرأة تجذب الرجل بأنوثتها التي يولي لها اهتماماً خاصاً،
لأنها تشعره برجولته،
وكلما زادت أنوثتها،
شعر هو أيضاً برجولته أكثر فأكثر
لذلك نجده يميل للمرأة الأنثى أكثر من المرأة الجميلة أو المرأة المثقفة،

لكنّ هناك خطراً
يهدد تلك الأنوثة عندما تبدأ المرأة بالتمرد عليها، لتنسلخ من حقيقتها وتبدل تاريخها، وكأنها تقول:
«أنا بـ (نيو لوك) رجل»

وتشير الأبحاث إلى أن هناك العديد من الصفات التي تفقد المرأة أنوثتها من دون أن تشعر بها، لكن يلحظها مَن حولها
ويطرحون بداخلهم سؤالاً واحداً

: أين أنوثتك من تلك الصفات؟

1- امرأة لا ترحم ضعيفاً
:طبيعة المرأة هيأتها لتكون بركاناً يتدفق منه حنان ورحمة، لكن عندما يتفجر هذا البركان بحمم من عدم الرحمة والقسوة، خاصة لمن يحتاج فعلاً للمسة عطف أو طيبة، فإن هذه المرأة تودع أنوثتها كما ودعت رحمتها وحنانها.

2 امرأة تتعامل بفتونة وعضلات مفتولة
:عندما تتحول المرأة الرقيقة الناعمة إلى وحش كاسر يتعامل بعدوانية وقوة عضلات، تفقد الجزء الأكبر من أنوثتها، حلماً منها بأن تكون ذلك الرمز للقوة والطغيان، وكأن الرجل ليس إلاّ عضلات، لكن حذار من تلك الموجة العارمة التي ستجرفك إلى شط بعيد عن هويتك الحقيقية، فالمرأة عندما تمثل شخصية الرجل، تكون مخلوقاً أشد عدوانية، فهي تلعب دوراً ليس بدورها.

3 امرأة فظة بلسان قبيح
:مَن يتوقع من ذلك المخلوق البريء الضعيف عند الصمت أن يكشر عن أنيابه إذا تكلم ليصبح قبيح اللسان، وعندها يصعب الربط بين الصورة الداخلية للمرأة الأنثى مع الصورة التي نراها بقناع أنثى مزيف، ونتمنى لو أنها بقيت صامتة إلى الأبد.

4 امرأة سيطر عليها الكره والحقد والغيرة
:بما أن المرأة هي الأم والزوجة والحبيبة، فلا بد أن تكون بئراً لا تنضب من الحب، وإذا ما تصرفت بذلك فإنها تفقد أول أسرار أنوثتها، بكرهها لكل من حولها وحقدها وغيرتها حتى تكره نفسها، وتحول حياتها معهم إلى جحيم من نار الحقد والغيرة وكره لا ينتهي.

5 امرأة تفضل الانتقام على التسامح
:دائماً ما نرى الأنثى متسامحة مضحية، يمكنها أن تغفر وتنسى، لكن عندما تتخلى عن تلك الميزة التي وُهِبت لها، فإنها تصبح متحجرة القلب والعقل وربما أكثر من الرجل، ولهذا نجدها أكثر إيلاماً وعنفاً منه.

6 امرأة يقتلها الغرور:
فرّقي ما بين الثقة بالنفس والغرور، فكثير ما تتداخل المعاني لدينا، فنجد الكثيرات يتمايلن على درب الغرور، وتقول: أنا واثقة من نفسي، فالثقة جميلة ومطلوبة، بل إن الرجل يرغب بالمرأة الواثقة، لكنه أكثر ما يكره امرأة تتفاخر بغرورها باسم الثقة، مما يلغي جمالها الخارجي وتفقد جزءاً كبيراً من أنوثتها، فلا يكاد يرى من حولها إلاّ تلك القبيحة بغرورها

أرجو من الجميع إعطاء رأيه

 

…  هذا إعلان في مصر وليس نكتة
 ‏​‏​‎​​تفرغ للصيام وخلي الدعاء علينا .. للحصول على دعوات خاصة
ارسل على حساب رقم  
0201-3969-xxxx

   1000 جنيه ندعي لك قبل اذان المغرب.

‏1500 جنيه ندعي لك قبل المغرب مع بكاء.

‏2000 جنيه ندعي لك آخر الليل وقبل الفجر مع بكاء ايضا وخشوع  
ولا يفوتك العرض الخاص فقط 4000 جنيه الباقة الكاملة طيلة شهر رمضان
مع تحيات شركه دعاء الكروان..!

كله كوووم .. و مع البكاء كووم

  !بعد شويه يجي عرض الصلوات الخمسة وغيرو

!!عجبي

أستاذ  طربوش

I’m a good looking Arabic man (not many of us around) and sometimes that is tough.

I do not understand these women who stare at me from a distance  like I am some kind of a shawerma sandwich!

Why not just ask me out instead of playing all these kiddy games?

Man, every day I run into all sorts of women who just STARE at me shamelessly, You think I am not aware?  Trust me, it is very OBVIOUS!

The young waitress smiling at me, and tossing her hair seductively every time I ask for a refill of my diet 7up?? So  I leave my generous 5.5 % tip, and next time I come in she’s even more flirty, trying to play “hard to get” by avoiding my section completely. Kiddy games!! SHAME on you!

The older lady who approached me at the bookshop, who has her own business and is looking for people just like me to help her expand in the area???  Yeah right!! Like I don’t know what THAT’S all about!! Work from home she said!!! Expand in her home is what she meant! SHAME on you!

Or that real curvy dark haired flight attendant with the wedding ring.. who keeps coming over to see if I want anything while smiling … YOU’RE MARRIED, SHAME on you!

That is why I use a nick name  Mr Tarboosh for the anonymity to help hide my amazing looks and irresistible charm.  But no doubt some of my internet stalkers will find me eventually, begging me be their toy boy!!

If you can approach me directly with confidence so we don’t have to play these kiddy games, I’d love to hear from you. Otherwise piss off!!!

I just want to add that I’m not attracted to Nigerian women, no matter how much money you  are willing to deposite into my bank account.

Just a personal preference.

أستاذ  طربوش

جماعة مدرسين حساب على إنجليزي أعدين بيحششو
واحد قال: كابسة..! في صوت بوليس جاي.! سامعين؟
راح رد عليه مدرس الحساب و قاله: آه سامعين و تمنين و تسعين.
 راح مسرخ فيهم و قالهم: اعملوا حاجة…دول زنأونة
رد عليه مدرس الحساب التاني و قاله، زنأونة و زنى تانية و زنى تالتة
أخذهم البوليس للقسم، في الطريق قلهم، محدش يجيب سرتي.
 رد عليه مدرس الانجليزي و قاله، يس،ولا سرتي ولا فورتي ولا فيفتي

أستاذ  طربوش

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—————–1———————
حبيبي ..

دعني أوقظ حلمي ..

على ابتسامة عينيك

وأرتشف رحيق شفتيك ..

كل صباح.. مع قهوتي الداكنة ..

لأبدأ يومي الطويل بكلمة .. أحبك ..!

—————–2———————

دموعنا هي حصاد همومنا..

فبدموعنا تروي آهات جروحنا..

لتولد الفرحة من رحم الأحزان..

وتحلق في سماء السعاده

فمن دموعنا تزهر الابتسامة…

—————–3———————

كثيراً ما فكرت بالابتعاد عنكِ ..

لكن دمعكِ .. كان يقطع علي المحاولة

فعذري لضعفي .. أنكِ تحبني ..

—————–4———————

وحملتُ جرحي على أكتافي العذراء

وسرت إليكِ ..

وحُلمي أن أجد الدواء

رحيقاً عذباً ينساب

من شفتيكِ ،،،

—————–5———————

يا بسمة في فؤادي..

يا نجمة في سهادي..

يا زهرة حبي وعشقي وودادي..

أهديك عمري ..

وهل يهدى العمرُ إلا لذات الدلالي،،

—————–6———————

يخونني النسيان في كل لحظه..

لأني أذكركِ في اللحظه..

ألف مره..

بتمنى تكون عجبتكم
و اتمنى اشوف ردودكم

RIM enters the tablet market with a BANG …

 After of endless weeks rumores and speculation, RIM has finally lifted the curtain on the BlackBerry tablet called the PlayBook. 

The PlayBook will feature a 7-inch LCD screen and will be capable of playing and recording 1080p HD video. It has 2 cameras one of the front and another on the back. 

The device, will run on a fast 1GHz dual-core processor, with 1GB of RAM as well as HDMI and USB ports. 

Pricing is not confirmed, unofficial opinions put it in the $1,000 -$1,500 range! A bit more pricy than iPads but consider the big difference in speed, the 2 cameras and some other cool features!  The device will be Wi-Fi enabled to begin with and will be followed by 3G and 4G tablets in future.

Will the PlayBook become the standard tablet in the business world, or is RIM a little too late to the party?

We shall find out in early 2011 when playbook is due to arrive.

Love Always,

Adam

 

Now that the world Cup is over, the spell holding men over is broken, according to many women. One of the most common complaints about men, is that they often seem to have a stronger relationship with their favorite football team than with their wife. This seems very puzzling to many women. So today, I shall attempt to explain this seemingly odd behavior of men.

Growing up, boys develop this close bond with their football team. As they  grow up, so does the bond with their football team and blossoms into this amazing strong commitment to their team. It becomes stronger than say .. weddings vows! 

When a man gets married, he says it is for richer or poorer, sickness and health, until death do them part, but deep down, the man knows he could always change his mind! He might end up with a 2nd wife, 3rd wife or even 4th wife and ocassionally all at the same time! 

But the commitment to their football team is PERMENANT! A man might change/add wives but he will never change loyalty to his football team, even if they are at the bottom of league!

Reecent political tensions between Arabs countries over football is a perfect example of how strong a bond men develop with their team. I think research will show that men have a gene called football GS217 (speculation on my part) responsible for this behavious.

So what you say, give men a break? Feel free to air your views (in a civil manner) and tell us what you think of men’s football obsession.

Thank you for reading.

Nahar

A date is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get till it is too late! When a date heads south, it can be a terrible put off experience. We have the bad, the ugly and the uglier with this collection of the worst date stories sent by our readers.

1. No Confidence 

Although we really got along really well on by the phone, when we met face to face, my blind date seemed nothing like his photo! He ended up spinding the whole day talking about how unattractive he is and how women always reject him. Then he asked me if I thought he was ugly! Needless to say, I cut the date short  refused a second date in the clear when I have not heard from him for a few days. Then I received an email from him: not a single word, just a photo of his sex organ! Ewwwwwwww!

 — Rania, NJ

 

2. The Baby Talk

A few month ago, I went on a date with a man I met online. He seemed normal & I agreed to go on a date with him. We went for a light lunch & things were going well. He was good-looking, funny, seemingly normal so I agreed to go on another date with him.

Second date, we went to a lovely steakhouse & after appetizers & his third glass of wine, he starts to talk in baby talk to me, as in “Would you wike a wittle kissy-wissy?” Our steaks arrive & he reached across the table to cut my meat for me!

He really freaked me out, So I said I need to go to the bathroom, & he asks if I “need help wiping”. (I wish I was making this up.) I make it to the ladies room where I see our waitress. I tell her I am lookin for an escape route. Do you have any exists other than the front door (our table was near front door)The waitress said yes, through the back door. So I neded up sneaking through the kitchen back door after I slipped her a $10 tip!

— Muna, NY

3. No Class 

My date told me he wanted to take me to a fancy restaurant out in downtown. After getting the car with my date, he says,  “I forgot that you lived so far out. Do you mind if we don’t go to the resturant I suggested?” I said no, not at all. Then they says, “Good, ’cause I don’t feel like driving way out there and then bringing you all the way back home. I mean this is a first date.”

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and we ended up going to a dinner restaurant. We eat.After asking for the bill, he asked me to pay for my meal and half the tip, he puts down $20 and asks me if I have a small bills because he doesn’t require to break his other $20. I told him to ask the waitress for change. After we left the restaurant, he said, “This always happens to me when I drink too much soda. It makes me wanna pee.”As he said that he went inside an alley started relieving himself, right in front of me. He had the nerved to call me the next day asking me out on a second date!

— Erin, Washington, D.C.

4. Blast from the Past 

The worst date I ever went on was with a guy I’d known in high school. Jack was the captain of the basketball team, an A+ student and all-around good guy, who I’d only admired from afar during my senior year. I saw him at a party 10 years later, and we ended up having a conversation. By the end of the evening, we had dinner plans for a few nights later. He picked me up right on time and had the reservations made — all good signs, right? WRONG!

The gregarious guy from the party apparently had left on a permanent vacation, and I was suddenly sitting next to Mr. Silent. Then, a couple Jack knew sat behind us, and he proceeded to turn completely around and have a conversation with them. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence! It was horrifying. My saving grace was a friend of mine who happened to be waitressing that night. She saved me with an “emergency” phone call. Jack didn’t even offer to drive me home when I announced I had to leave; he said “Okay” and kept on talking! The best part of the story? He actually called me the next day and asked if I wanted to go out again!

 — Salwa, MA

  

5. Detour on Lover’s Lane 

After a late dinner, my date and I decided to take advantage of our remote spot in the parking lot and started getting hot and heavy in the car. Ten minutes later, I was putting my clothes back on while being escorted out of the car by a police officer. My date was behind the wheel and had to convince the cop that he was sober while I had to swear up and down that I was undressing of my own volition before he let us go. 

— DV, NJ

 

6. M.I.A. 

I was out with a new man I’d met. We had a great time, and he suggested we go back to his house and watch a flick. So we were talking and watching a movie and were having a glass of wine when he mentioned something about going up to get a cigarette. He slipped away and I didn’t think anything of it, until 30 minutes later when I realized I was still sitting on the couch in this stranger’s home. Alone. To keep from bothering him, if he was talking to some friends or something, I texted him to ask him where he went. He texted me back 10 minutes later to tell me, he was in bed. He left me, the first time in his home, alone. On the couch. For 40 minutes. And went to bed. I was so irked, I just got up, put the wine away, and walked out quietly. Needless to say, I didn’t call him again. 

— Reema, CA

7. Dog of a Date 

When my date picked me up, he was with his friend and my sister told me that his friend was married to her archenemy. Great, I was going on a double date with a girl who hated my sister. When I got to the car, I saw a dog inside — it belonged to the husband of my sister’s archenemy. After we were on the road for a few minutes the dog climbed into the back seat where I was, (yes, I was in the back seat), and threw up. I rode the rest of the way to his friend’s house right beside dog vomit. The weirdest part of the date was that my date brought his camera and took pictures of the two of us like we were already a couple. I never spoke to him again.

— Mariam, NC

à la prochaine fois

                                                                                                                     Nicole 🙂

Friends are always asking me where is the best place to meet single peolpe! The world we live in, is very fast paced and we don’t have time to socialize. Before we know it, our single friends have all gotton married and often you are left alone. Will probably feel a bit fed up and lonely.

So where can we meet interesting singles? Please contribute to your fav way of meeting people.

à la prochaine fois

Nicole  🙂 

A few days ago I went to see the movie Robin Hood and it was an interesting experience as I got to learn more about an east  European language than actually watch the movie!

The movie theater was packed and I happened to sit behind an east European couple. The wife obviously did not speak a word of English due to the fact that her husband translated the entire movie to her! So I just wanted to thank him for the decency and stamina to watch and translate the entire 2 hours and 30 minutes movie to his”hard hearing” wife, word-for-word.

I also want to compliment him on his ability to translate to his wife over some very loud fighting scenes where people are screaming while being torn into pieces, speaks volumes to his character, his lung capacity, and his vocal cord strength! It is obvious that he does not suffer from asthma!

I  would like to commend him as well on his ability to handle stressful situations well, like when you calmly ignored the guy in front of you when he asked if you could “please shut the F*** up a** hole.”

Also the fact that he did NOT translate these obscenities to his wife, speaks volumes about his good judgment and consideration. This is what I call true love!

If he is reading this, again I want to commend him for a job well done.

Love Always,

Adam

These days, more and more people are finding love online be it due to time constraints, unsociable working hours or simply the death of the community. One thing is for sure, this is the fastest growing way to meet potential partners, however it has it’s pitfalls. Whilst online dating sites may offer a quick way to meeting these partners, Instant Messaging using programs such as ICQ, MSN, or Odigo offer a lightning speed way of getting very intimate, very quickly. It is so quick because you can be just who you want to be when you are chatting online, no one will see you blush if you say something wrong and most importantly, it allows you to take risks that you would never dream of taking in the real world. The most powerful aspect of this all though is that we paint our own picture in our minds of what the other person is without all those non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and mannerisms that subconsciously in the real world tell us valuable things about the person. In short, with our own beautifully created perception of the person, fall for them. So why do we as intelligent human beings end up falling for people we have never even met before? The answer is simplewe want to be in love, we so want to tell ourselves that the searching for our soul mate is over and with that we picture our lives in a blissful sea of coupledom, sharing our lives together. Sadly it is this haste to end our single lives that can lead to disappointment as quickly as it started.

Meeting Your online love for the first time

Sooner or later the question of actually meeting in person will come up and whilst many people would say it’s better to take your time and let the online relationship develop, I strongly believe that the sooner you do it, the better. If you leave it too long, then the impression you have built up of this person will be so deep rooted that your expectations will be far too high and you will be set for disappointment. The other point is if you have been a lot more confident chatting than you would be in real life, how are you going to be able to keep up that persona? You may end up competing with yourself. So assuming that you are both happy with the length of time the romance has been going on for and you decide to meet, what will it be like? It will be quite strange to begin with. You may find that although you have been up most nights until 5 in the morning chatting, you find it hard to talk about things in the flesh. This is perfectly natural as the two of you are having to almost re-learn the parameters of the relationship and digest the visual cues that our mannerisms and facial expressions provide. It will be a nerve racking time as we have to decide there and then if these mannerisms and even physical odours are compatible with us. If you can pass that first test, then things get a lot easier. Do however be very careful if you are traveling abroad to meet someone because if things fail at this first hurdle, then you are totally stuck on your own in a foreign country.

Passed first base, what next?

Having gone through this initial nerve racking first meeting, there is often a huge temptation to revert back to an ‘online relationship’ as it feels so much more comfortable, but I cannot stress enough to resist that temptation. Slip back into the old online chatting routine and the online persona won’t die. The transition from online to offline relationship can be extremely difficult but at all costs, you must get to know the real person from a new offline perspective and kill off any false impressions you may have had about them online. Going back to the online chatting routine may make you feel all warm and fuzzy again, but it can be an unrealistic perception of who the person really is.

In Summary

This all may seem a little negative and in some cases may not even apply, but overall, forewarned is forearmed. There are of course many people who have made a success of their relationship by Instant Messaging and many are married now but it really pays to be aware of how feelings can be distorted by the shield of an anonymous nickname and a computer monitor.

New to Online Dating? Trying to find the man or woman of your dreams through the Virtual World? You need to have a Good Personal Ad or Dating Profile

Some people don’t believe me when I tell them that most problems with not enough Responses to your Ad can be fixed just by writing a better Ad. And then I often take them, real-time, to an Online Dating Site. I randomly start reading out profiles, and they cannot believe that so many people write such terrible ads! Maybe it is this overvalued notion of spontaneity, of writing whatever comes to your mind, letting it flow, being you – which leads you to write gibberish in your ads. Say goodbye to any success in Online Dating with that. Think what would happen if NASA Engineers became spontaneous.

So stop your Dating shuttle from crashing and read these examples of common Mistakes in Dating Profiles. Have a laugh, but be careful, your own profile may have bugs too! (All examples are real)

..”I am a funny, witty person….”

Funny and witty people never write that directly. Instead of saying this, add a touch of humor to your profile.

..”I was just bored, so wrote my profile here…”

A negative attitude. Instead, say, “I am new to this…”

…”I am an Honest, Spontaneous, Creative, Intelligent (..other personal adjectives) …person.”

Very few people think they are not, so this is very subjective (same as the fact that 80% people believe that they have an IQ above average!). Even if true, it is redundant information at best. Avoid using personal adjectives in your Ad or Profile.

Define yourself concretely-better to say I am a Guitar player in a Band or I write Novels or I am a practising Doctor than I am Creative or Intelligent.

…”I want a guy who can make me laugh…”

Comes across as negative-you sound slightly depressed if you need someone just to make you laugh. Theres plenty of stuff on the TV to make you laugh, and you are not looking for a joker, you are looking for a boyfriend, a mate…remember?

…”I like dark haired men, but if you are blond and good-looking, write me anyway, maybe you can change my mind….”

Turn-off to blond men. Make up your mind, if you are looking for only dark haired men, just say that. Dont play both sides of the coin, generally backfires. Better not to say anything if you are not sure.

…”I like taking walks by the ocean, or watching TV, or going camping with my friends…”

Unimportant details. Most people like these things, and these are hardly important details in finding a partner (it is unlikely you wont like going out with someone just because they dont like walking the beach or watching TV with you) . Your hobbies is where you put these things, and more specifically-e.g. Camping, or Watching Basketball.

…”I am sexy, flirtatious,… I like kisses on my back, full body massages from my boyfriend/girlfriend…”

Generally speaking, keep the sexual innuendos out. You will have plenty of time to exchange many raunchy emails if you are addicted to writing sexual stuff… but in the first impression, keep it out. Think about it this way-would you say this to a guy or a girl in a bar who you meet for the first time? If not, then dont say it in your Ad either.

…”I am looking for a REAL man/woman, with all the letters of REAL…”

Everyone is real. Basically, dont worry, sounds like you have had some bad experiences in relationships, but thats over now. Come with a positive attitude to Online Dating, and just meet the people. Then when you email them and meet them in person, you can decide if they are real or not.

…”I am not interested in guys who are bitter and boring…”

No one is. Use the Ad mostly to tell what you like, not what you dont like. Agreeability is a must have in first introductions.

There seems to be a new phenomenon of late whereby a first date seems to go extremely well and may well lead on to a second date and then all of a sudden it’s over. Why would this happen when everything seemed so right? The chemistry was there, shared interests and the kissing was good too so what happened? I wish I had an answer to this one as it has happened to me a couple of times and each time it has left me pondering how many different variables are involved in making a successful relationship. I do however have some theories that may at least ease the pain of the rejection.

Firstly, people are complicated when it comes to issues of the heart and to the most part we have spent many years cultivating in our heads just what our ideal partner would be. These expectations we have of people can put an enormous strain on a forming relationship and it is important to give people a little leeway. Understandably, people do make allowances for failed expectations however the truth is that a little too much wine can lower our expectations a little too much and make us act in a way that is not true to our real feelings. It’s only when the date is over and the effects of alcohol subside do we realize that the person really isn’t suitable at all.

Secondly, most people have some sort of emotional baggage whether that takes the form of an unresolved previous relationship or emotional fear of becoming attached again. I have often wished that people could be more up front about any concerns like this but often they are not and unfortunately, people find it easier to lie themselves out of a difficult emotional situation.

Thirdly, an old boyfriend or girlfriend wants them back and your date was in a sense using you to see if they are up to starting another relationship or not. This situation is probably the worst as you will find it extremely difficult to compete with someone your date has history with. On old partner will not require all the time and effort involved in starting again and represents a comfortable way out of the dating scene.

Finally, and possibly the most difficult to swallow is that perhaps you were just too keen and got a little carried away. It’s such a hard balancing act to do, knowing when the time is right to open up your emotions to someone and yet be sure that you’re not making yourself too vulnerable. It’s even harder when all the signals are telling you that it’s ok to be swept away, especially if the date has taken on quite an intimate nature.

So what can you do now? The most sensible thing you can do is to reflect on what has happened and file it away in your experience drawer in the safe knowledge that you are that much wiser on the dating scene. Take it slower next time and don’t be too quick to allow yourself to fall. Be sure the signs are right and trust your instincts. If there is a niggling doubt in your mind about something, generally there is something wrong and it’s only the ecstasy of falling in love that is preventing you from facing it

I was going to write about the new tax increase and how it will effect the world economy and daily life of average citizens but then I came to the conclusion that there was more exciting stuff to talk about .. like

LICE   (قمل)

Some will never forgive & forget and they will always feel the need to seek revenge from those who wronged them. In many parts of the world, the revenge takes the form of  blood fueds between families that goes on in some cases for decades.

Now there might be a better way to get revenge without the need for blood.

Lice is the answer according to a British website (crabrevenge.com) that sells lice. The website talks about using lice for revenge. How? By putting the lice on the bed of the target of your revenge. This will lead to severe itching.

Is this for real? Not sure as the website has many spelling and grammatical errors. However, the website claims it’s not a joke. 

An English historian (Edward Gibbon 1737–1794)  once said “Revenge is profitable” and sure enough it seems some are taking those words to the bank!

Do you see yourself ever buying such product?

Thank you for reading.

Nahar

  

Recently, I have taken a flight through London’s Heathrow Airport.  In this ocassion, I have experienced something new I might go as far as calling it a significant emotional event!

What was it you ask?

No, it was not using the public bathroom. 

I have just finished going through the security check where you put all of your stuff on the belt and then step through the metal detector. As I was putting my shoes back on (boots that required effort and focus to put back on), a security lady approached me with a wide smile and said something that sounded like: 

“Sir, I am pleased to tell you that you have been randomly selected for additional screening“. Her statement reminded me of these spam emails I get saying I have been  randomly selected from a patch of 192,052,374,676 possible morons for their $100 million  lottery prize!

My response was, can you please unselect me and select someone else?

“I am afraid not sir” she said that with this smile that crocodile gives you before having your arm for breakfast.

I have heard about some new machines airports got that were causing an uproar due to the fact they take xrated images of you.

So I wanted to clarify, “we are not going to that nudie x ray machine? are we?”

“Yes Sir, I am afraid we are” followed by that disturbing smile.

So we get to that machine which looks like a small walk in closet. I am asked to stand in front of this black screen and you pose with hands up then turn around and do the same pose. The whole thing seemed to have lasted 12 hours but I am told it only lasted 3-5 minutes!

In some other room, a guy (I assume it is a guy since only guys would apply for such a job that involved seeing naked people all day long!) sits in front of a monitor looking at a nude image of you .. with your hands up! I am told “afterwards” that you have the option to say no and instead get a total male stranger to press their hairy hands all over your clothed body!! 

Now obviously, many passengers have serious issues with these nudie scanners and so do I!!

However, my issue is not

about feeling violated while I stand there virtually naked

or

about the possibility that my internal organs are being cooked by the microwave x-rays

or

about the fact that I have been  “randomly selected” because I am Arab

or

about losing rights for privacy

no no no I am not bothered by any of the above.

What really bothers and irritates me is the fact that I did not get a chance to ..

PHOTOSHOP my image before it was sent!!!

How dare they! If they are going to take away your dignity, then at least allow you the use of photo shop. I did ask and I was told it was not an option!

I think it is fair to say that if you are going to be  “randomly selected” then they should either give us advance notice of lets say like .. 2 years notice so we get in shape or allow use of Photoshop.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Some argue that “If you’ve got nothing to hide then you’ve got nothing to fear.”

Umm.. HELLO! We all have things to hide and that is why we wear clothes!

I have a feeling that very soon these nudie machines will also be introduced and installed at the entrances to train stations, buildings and inside public bathrooms!

The real question is it worth it? Will these nudie machines stop terrorists from riding planes?

And the answer is YES! What kind of self respecting religious fundamentalist terrorist would allow himself to be seen naked by a non believer?!

I can see now how effective this is going to be .. umm yeah!

So what do you think? Are you for it or against it?

More read: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8303983.stm

Thanks for reading.

Nahar

Since dawn,  many women have complained about men not being sensitive/loving/caring enough. Today, your paryers have been answered! The answer is called ..

oxytocin!

Oxytocin (known as the cuddle hormon) is a spray that makes men more affectionate and in tune with a woman’s feelings and helps them get intouch with their .. feminine side!   

Huh?

Oxytocin is a natural body hormone that is released into the woman’s blood during labour,  triggering the production of breast milk ..

Whaaat?

So does that mean men will be doing the breast feeding now? Not all (not yet anyhow). However, men  who had been sprayed with oxytocin in a study, reached high levels of sensitivity usually only found in women who have been watching Operah for 6 years!

According to the study, the chemical can make a man “feel”  like a woman. (reminds of me of a song ‘Man! I Feel Like A Woman‘  by Shania Twain). So now macho men will turn into cuddling lovey dovey bird after a few sprays.

Another study carried on rats showed that after a few sprays, Mickey Mouse will turn into Mini Mouse and start doing the laundry, cooking and vacuming!

The “cuddle hormone” can have impact beyond the home.

Imagine ..

The UN delegates get a few sprays. Next thing you know, the American and Iranian delegates go from a heated accusing exchanges to complimenting eachother’s outfits and exchanging cooking recipes and latest art galleries!

Imagine ..

Wild football crowds sprayed ..

Violent street protesters sprayed ..

Whole troublesome nations sprayed ..

Now you can see some of the more serious implications that only someone with vision, an xbox and no girl friend/wife can see!

So the motto of the story is ..

Men do try to be more sensitive to your women, because if you don’t,  one night you might go to bed 3unter (عنتر) and wake up 3abla (عبلة)!  

More Read: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8653500.stm

Or you can watch this interesting video! (we should have another post to discuss his goattee!)

So what do you think, do we need that spray?

Thank you for reading.    

Nahar