There is Mr. Right, and then there’s Mr. Right NOW. Mr Right Now is the one who you see and are immediately attracted to. He’s a smooth talker, well dressed, well traveled, has a good job, and could romance you into bed that same night. Mr Right is the one who you may be attracted to (or not be attracted to), may not have a great job (but is motivated, the most important trait…), may be somewhat awkward when speaking to you, but is attentive and respectful of you from the get-go.

Dating Advice

Dating Advice

Why would we rather pick the Perfect 10 than the “solid five” who we may have more in common with? Could it be because we have an ego that tells us that we could do “better” in the looks department? Ken Page, L.C.S.W. a relationship researcher, writes in Psychology Today that “People who are willing to date in the mid-range are more likely to find real and lasting love. It’s not a matter of selling out, because immediate attraction isn’t the best forecaster of future passion. Intense attractions blind us to the actual quality of our interaction with others, and to the actual characters of the people we date. Attractions can grow.” It’s best to cultivate a greater attraction than just that initial spark you may have with the perfect ten.

Because of our urge to date Mr Right Now, many potentially wonderful relationships will never be cultivated—which could be why it seems we date so much more now to find The One than our parents did. There are ways that we can be more conscious of the people we find attractive. For example, if you normally date the “bad boys,” remind yourself that they haven’t worked for you in the past; and therefore, they’re probably Mr. Right Now. Time to re-evaluate your approach!

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