As a woman who dated online for years and now has her own business in the field, A Little Nudge, I know what other women want. I’ll break it into three categories: photos, profiles and emails.


No. 1: The number of photos lets you put a whopping 26 pictures in your profile. The key here is that just because they allow for that many doesn’t mean you need to use all the space. This is online dating, not a Facebook album, so three to six pictures is plenty.
Just as a woman is only as attractive as her worst picture (being a woman, the same may be true for men). Put your best pictures out there— as long as they are accurate. Two great photos win over four or more mediocre photos any day. Women will look for the one bad one and decide not to email you because of it.

Online Dating Tips For Men

No. 2: What to put in the pictures
I see so many pictures of men with their buddies. Why? You are already being compared to all of the other profiles on whatever dating site you’re using, so why let someone compare you in your very own profile picture? Have you ever looked at a girl’s profile and thought to yourself, “Well, she’s cute, but her friend in the pic is cuter. Man, I wish I could meet her instead.” Women do that too. So, start cropping! Also, pictures of scenery to show your “lifestyle” or last vacation should be saved for facebook. We want to see you — period.

No. 3: Accuracy 
Getting in front of someone after you’ve posted inaccurate pictures won’t win her over; it will drive her away.

No. 4: The “interesting” pictures
The last picture you post should be your “interesting” picture. This is my secret. Now that we think you’re good-looking, we need something to help us start a conversation. Posting a picture of you skydiving, being a volunteer firefighter, posing with your dog — these are what make you different and give us something to ask about if we email you.

Profile Rules

No. 1: Set Yourself Apart
I’m sure we’ve all seen the “I love music and traveling, and I love to laugh” profiles. Most people I know enjoy those things. But I don’t know a lot of people who have lived in eight states in the U.S., enjoy taking improv comedy classes and took three weeks off from work once to see if he found his calling in bird-watching. (The answer was no.)

These are the things we want to know — the things that make you quirky and unique.

What we don’t want to see is: “I like to work hard and I like to play hard.” Does anyone really know what this means? Does this tell us anything about who you really are?

What kind of intro would make you keep reading?

No. 2: Have a bold intro that makes us want to read the rest
Below are actual intros from profiles from Would you keep reading? I wouldn’t.

– Yes, I am single. I am throwing it out there. (Really? I wasn’t sure)

– For the past few years, I’ve lived under the assumption that I’d meet someone in my normal circles of work, friends and activities. (We all did. Doesn’t tell us anything.)

– So, I have never done this online-dating thing before, and I’m still on the fence about how I feel about it. (Why would anyone want to keep reading if they already see your skepticism?)

– I work a lot, and I don’t really have too many opportunities to meet new people. (That’s the first thing you want to tell someone? You’re basically saying that you may not have time for someone else. It’s OK that you work a lot, but don’t lead with it.)

– I enjoy life and like to have fun. (Me, too! Surprising!)

Here are some good ones that start out in an intriguing way:

– I’m vertically challenged. There, I said it. Glad I got that out of the way.(Makes light of the fact that he’s short and shows a sense of humor.)

– Pick me, pick me! As a teacher, this phrase is all too familiar. (Very cute.)

– I like extra-salted buttered popcorn and malt balls at the movies. (So off-the-beaten path.)

No. 3 – The “just right” length
Profiles that are too short don’t say enough, and too-long profiles get to be a nuisance to read. Give your profile a read and think to yourself, “Would I want to hear more?” or “Would I pass over me because it’s daunting to read the novel I’ve written?” If the answer to the latter is yes, adjust accordingly.

No. 4 – Ask questions
Who doesn’t like to be asked questions? Whether it’s rhetorical or an actual question (“Any suggestions for new restaurants in town?”), it gives women an “in” to to start a conversation.

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If you find yourself looking for love online, you might just fall for someone outside of your zip code. So does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Online dating site  analyzed over 500,000 responses to the questions, “Would you have a long distance relationship?” and “Would you relocate for a partner?” to find out.

Women Less Willing to Date Long Distance

According to the data, men are 38% more likely than women to try a long distance relationship and 56% more likely than women to relocate for a partner.

While it’s difficult to pin point the exact reason men prefer long distance dating over women, we reached out to dating expertsLaurel House and Kerri Zane to help explain the discrepancy.

“Women tend to be more needy and enjoy more in-person attention during the first stages of a relationship, while men often use distance as an excuse to have more freedom and not feel “tied down,”” said Laurel House. “Once the relationship gets serious; however, the conversation needs to move towards someone moving to the same location as it’s difficult to sustain a healthy relationship when experiencing a vacation-style relationship.

“Vacation relationships” are what House refers to as those that exist primarily on weekends. They are fun and free and don’t require you to see the in-betweens, the daily life, or the minutia. They basically allow you to avoid digging in and getting truly vulnerable, which could be part of the appeal to men.

Since 69% of’s female members in the US are over 40 years old, Zane believes kids could play a significant role in the differing viewpoints as well. “When you feel that you’ve put your kids through a lot of trauma, such as a divorce, uprooting them from familiar surroundings, school and friends is not really viable option,” she said.

Long distance relationships might not be for everyone, but it is possible to execute them strategically and ask the right questions to dig deep, House says. “Video Skype is a great way to create that environment of safety and trust where you can truly be vulnerable and get to know each other on a substantive level.”

Plus there are plenty of tips and tricks on to help you along the way

Valentine’s Day is this weekend, which means some of you are seeing dollar signs! Don’t worry, romance doesn’t have to cost a fortune and it doesn’t require weeks of planning. We’ve compiled 5 simple, inexpensive date ideas for any couple to make this Valentine’s Day one to remember.

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1. Get away.

This might seem like a pricey option, but Valentine’s Day falls on a long weekend this year and there are plenty of sites that offer last-minute flight deals! Be spontaneous and take advantage of those special prices. If you want to save the cost of tickets, pick something secluded a few hours from your home city. A quaint bed & breakfast would make for the perfect escape.

2. Keep it simple—at home.

Plan a Valentine’s Day extravaganza behind closed doors. Spend the early evening preparing dinner together, then break out the wine and candles. After dessert head to bathroom for a sensual bubble bath together. The rest is up to you!

3. Do some dirty dancing

If you want to keep things extra simple, throw on your favorite playlist and throw your own dance party in your living room. Another option is head to a dance class with your significant other! An instructor will guide you in learning a few new moves. You two will feel extra close showing off your new moves at the next event you attend!

4. Have a private wine tasting

Buy a few bottles of adventurous wines from around the globe and set up a tasting for you and your partner. You two can bond over rating and reviewing your favorites. The best part of having a wine tasting in the privacy of your home: you two can head straight to the bedroom afterwards. Just don’t drink too much wine!

5 Simple Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

5. Go ice skating

What better place to stir up fond memories than a skating rink? A date at a skating rink accomplishes two things: It shows your willingness to do something potentially embarrassing (such as trying to keep your balance), and it gives you the chance to hold on to one another. Plus, if you already own skates gliding around at a public rink is often free. Find a coffee shop nearby to share some dessert and warm up afterwards!


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If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, or, possibly even worse (if you were really romantically interested in that person), the “you’re like a brother/sister/friend to me,” you know how devastating it can be. But would you want to continue dating someone who just isn’t all that into you? If it’s hard enough to have someone tell you right at the beginning that they don’t like you to the same degree that you like them, how much worse is it to hear after you’ve invested lots of time and emotion?

Not Interested? Why Honesty Is the Best Policy

If you’re the one having to deliver the death blow to a budding relationship, then grow up and do it like an adult. Even when it hurts, honesty is the best policy, and treating the other person with respect and dignity is part of being honest. Imagine what would happen if you stuck with a relationship simply because you were too much of a chicken to say, “Hey, I like you fine as a friend, but I just don’t feel any romantic attraction to you at all.” Imagine the torture that relationship would become—especially if your significant other became more and more attached to you. Imagine finally having to come clean and confess that you were never attracted to him or her. Imagine his or her devastation. Imagine him or her asking you why you didn’t just end it before there was all this hurt and emotion and rightfully accuse you of being a coward.

Don’t be a coward. Being honest isn’t always fun or pleasant, but when it comes to the feelings of another person, you should respect them enough to lessen the blow as much as possible by being honest up front.

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The Delivery

Part of telling someone you’re not interested is in the delivery. You’ll have to decide whether telling them in person, over the phone, or in a more impersonal way such as e-mail or texting is the most appropriate. How you deliver the news also depends on how you communicate in your current relationship. If you’ve only chatted online, being honest during an online chat is appropriate. If you are friends with the person, a more personal face-to-face chat or phone call is probably better. E-mailing or texting such a message should be saved as a last resort.

However you do it, being honest with someone that you don’t like them the same way they like you is probably going to produce some hurt feelings and anger. Don’t let that stop you. Dishonesty festers and causes far more problems in the end than honesty. Rip off the bandage quickly.

To meet singles online, Araboosh offers a great experience. Build your free profile today and start meeting people immediately.


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When you’re building an online dating profile, the photos you select have a big impact on your perceived desirability. We all know that posting a selfie you took in the bathroom is pretty creepy, but going too far in the other direction may also scare off potential dates. If you go overboard with a professionally lit studio portrait that looks like it was made for LinkedIn, you lose the chance to show your personality. So what’s a man to do? Turn to science, of course. Since online dating is so universally appealing, there have been thousands of research studies on all aspects of catching a date online. Here is a simple look at what research says is the best online dating profile photo.

Tips for Guys: Best Photos for an Online Dating Profile

Photo Tips for Men:

  • Don’t post a selfie.Selfie photos of men get 8% fewer messages than snapshots taken by someone else. Have a friend take a photo.
  • Take photos outside.Studies show that women are 19% more likely to respond positively to a photo of a guy taken outside rather than inside. With women, it’s the reverse (indoor photos are more preferred). So men, if you have 2 or 3 photos in your dating profile, make sure at least one of them is taken outside.
  • Go solo.Having even one extra person in a photo dropped the number of messages a profile receives by 42%. The worst offender: large groups of friends drinking.
  • Don’t sweat the facial expression—be yourself.Smiling or not smiling is equally fine for men’s online dating profiles. Studies show that women respond well to both. You can look a little flirty, but it’s important that you don’t look like you’re flirting with someone just outside the camera shot. If you’re going to look flirty, make sure you’re flirting with the camera.
  • Don’t use the MySpace angle.While men respond well to photos of a woman in that coy camera shot (taking a selfie with the camera just above you at arm’s length), women don’t rate photos of men as being as attractive in this angle. The MySpace angle has become a feminine thing, apparently.
  • Skip the suit and tie.Studies show men can safely save this for a fancy night out, since women don’t respond as often (or as positively) to a guy who’s in shirt and tie as to a guy in normal clothes (a simple shirt and jeans) or shirtless.
  • Post at least one “action shot” in your profile.This doesn’t have to be you jumping hurdles, but it should be a photo of you involved in some interesting activity (the key word here is activity—sitting on the couch or working on the computer doesn’t count). This kind of shot generates one of the highest percentages of conversations that turn into actual face-to-face meetings.
  • If you’re not going to show your face, be unique and cool.There are some really creative shots out there that don’t show the face (like when you’re scuba diving, or wearing a motorcycle helmet), and these shots get a lot of response as long as they’re unusual enough (or sexy enough) that they spark people’s interest.
  • Good backgrounds matter.Skip the cluttered bar or messy bedroom. Go for simple and non-distracting, as a general rule.
  • Get a full-body photo in your profile.Having at least one full body photo in your online dating profile can increase messages by 200%.


Ready to get your profile up and going? Sign up for a free Araboosh online dating account and find singles in your area today.

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Growing up, we weren’t taught who men really are and what makes them tick. I know I wasn’t and in the past, I made huge mistakes that ended up emasculating men.  It’s what led me to helping women really understand who men are…especially over 50’s men.

That’s why I wrote these 8 tips about men you can use right away in your own dating life.  These tips have made a huge difference in my both my life and the lives of my clients.

8 Tips For Dating Men Over 50

Tip #1 – Appreciate a man for who he is.

Men are wonderful but they aren’t women.  They don’t think like women nor do they communicate like women.  This means don’t expect a man to act like a woman or you’re guaranteed to be disappointed.

Tip #2 – Men over 50 are very masculine and they love when you bring this trait out in them.

Men have no interest in competing with you and that’s exactly what they see it as when you approach them as an Alpha Female.  For a man, this is like dating another man and he isn’t interested in dating men.  The key is learning to come into your true feminine power…one that compliments a man’s masculine power.  When you do, he’ll jump through hoops to make you happy.

Tip #3 – Men show you love with their actions.

Hollywood has messed with our heads on this one.  On the big screen, they show us men like Tom Cruise’s character in the movie, Jerry McGuire.  Think back to when he professed his love with the romantic words, “You complete me.”  Real men show you their love by cutting your grass and giving you their coat when you’re cold.  If you expect love to come in words…you could be waiting a very long time.

Tip #4 – Men want to give to you.

Let them open the door for you or change that light bulb you can’t reach.  It makes them happy to please you. All they want in return is to be appreciated and thanked. If you do this, they’ll do anything you want, which leads us to Tip #5.

Tip #5 – Don’t criticize the job a man is doing for you.

He’s doing his best and yes, you may be able to do it better or faster than he can but don’t… It makes him feel emasculated.  If he’s offered to do something for you, allow him to do it his way.  Otherwise, the next time you ask for help, he’ll tell you to hire a handyman. He doesn’t want the aggravation of not being able to do anything right for you.

Tip #6 – When you’re dating an over 50’s man, don’t place demands on how he must be or what he has to do in order to date you.

Men tell me again and again how much they dislike profiles of women who demand nothing less than the best restaurant or a certain salary to date them.  Men have had enough demands put on them at work and from their ex’s. The last thing they want to do is meet yours before you’ve even met.

Tip #7 – Don’t try and remodel a man by making him your pet project.

Either accept him for who he is or let him go and move on.

Tip #8 – A lot of men over 50 are pretty insecure when it comes to asking you out.

Having been rejected time and time again by so many women, they aren’t too quick about putting themselves back in a vulnerable position unless it feels safe to do so. If you like a man, encourage him with eye contact, a warm smile or a flirt online to let him know you’re interested. Remember, men weren’t given a Dating Rulebook with their divorce papers either. So be kind to them and understand that as scared as you feel about dating, most of them are too.

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It may not always feel that way, but if you’re over forty and dating you, congratulations are in order! You are at an advantage over your younger friends and there are definite pluses to dating in midlife. Hopefully, you are wiser and more sure of yourself and what you want in a relationship. You have accomplished many of your big life goals, and you are dating with a healthier attitude. If you need a little boost, here are some positive ways to look at dating in midlife.

3 Positive Ways to Look at Dating in Midlife

A positive outlook on dating at midlife

  1. You can get a quick read on your date (and save yourself time and heartache). By this age, you’ve hopefully sharpened your intuitive read on people. You’ve been in enough relationships to know people pretty well. You’ve been burnt enough times that you’ve learned to be more careful with whom you entrust your heart. One way to get to know a date quickly is by how he talks about his kids, his ex, his friends. Does he call when he says he will? Was he on time for the date? And if he was running late, did he have a good excuse and keep you posted? Pay attention to the small details and the first conversations. It’s crucial to see your date with eyes wide open, not ‘wishful thinking brain’. The first few conversations and dates reveal most of what you need to know, so pay attention!

Pay attention to the small details and the first conversations.

  1. You maintain a full and balanced life.In midlife, you are probably pretty settled in many areas of your life; work, kids, relationships with friends you trust and love. You’re seeking a relationship with a man for different reasons than in your twenties. If you’ve already been married and have kids, you are not looking for a father for your children. You are looking for a partner for yourself, to enhance the full life you lead right now. If you’re not feeling fulfilled in other areas of your life, now is a great time to take stock. A relationship with a man should be a ‘want’, not a ‘need’. When you approach dating from that perspective, you’ll have much more success. You’ll radiate positive energy, which is a man-magnet!

You are looking for a partner for yourself, to enhance the full life you lead right now.

  1. You date with the right attitude.Healthy dating is all about attitude. If you date with the mindset of ‘I look forward to making new connections’, you’ll have much more success. Bring curiosity and wonder to a date, not evaluation and judgment ~ and the big ‘is he the one’. You can’t know a future until you have a present. So, stay present and find out a few things about your date.

* One interesting thing you have in common (a hobby, an activity, a favorite book/movie) 
* One goofy thing about each another 
* One thing you’d like to learn more about him

Take a moment today to celebrate all the positives about dating in midlife. And bring that good attitude with you on every date. Confidence and positivity are sexy!

And remember, if you want to immediately turn around your online dating success, visit here

For anyone who’s recently come out of a long relationship /marriage, on-line dating might be a bit intimidating. There’s no stigma these days and apparently there are over 9 million people doing it so come on, it is worth a shot. Your confidence has probably taken a knock, but now’s the time to get back on the horse.

4 Tips For Finding Love Online When You’re In Your Prime

Here are 4 tips to get you going in the mature dating scene.

  1. The Killer Profile.
    This is where you put yourself in the shop window, and while the photos are the first thing that people notice if they’re interested, they’ll read what you have to say about yourself so make it interesting. Guys, this does not mean describing yourself as “honest, reliable, genuine, good with kids”. The ladies viewing your profile are not at Battersea dog’s home choosing a dog, they’re hopefully choosing a funny, exciting man to go on a date with. Ladies I’ll just say this…Make sure that you’re wearing appropriate clothing and not showing us all the latest designs in Agent Provocateur. So the rules are, no photos of pets, kids, body bits, caravans, cars, motorbikes and collections of garden gnomes.
  1. Hobbies and Interests.
    Ladies, no-one wants to hear about your cat, which day you go to Slimming World, your housekeeping skills, or the grandkids. Keep it a bit fluffy and by all means mention the dancing classes as a lot of guys do like to dance. Now then guys, I would love to know where this beach is in Manchester that you all like to walk along, holding hands. Trust me there isn’t one. I know you’re trying to be romantic but let’s do something else. It’s hard to know what to say on a dating profile when you probably haven’t dated for years but everyone’s probably feeling a bit nervous so just try to keep it as honest as you can. And whatever you do, don’t ever put on your profile that you’re wild and wacky as this just screams “idiot”.
  1. Would Like To Meet.
    Most profiles will ask what is it you are looking for? A relationship, something casual or maybe marriage. Most people will just say looking to date but nothing serious, as this means you can maybe enjoy the dating and meeting lots of people and get more of an idea of the type of person you want. Don’t forget though, while you may have had a physical type years ago the goalposts have changed and let’s just say it’s a good idea to keep an open mind .Having said that don’t put up with unwanted attention, that’s what the block button is for. Ladies be prepared to receive messages from bald toothless old men living in warden controlled flats with access to a computer, don’t feel bad about declining any offers. Maybe the men have the same problem, who knows? Hopefully you’ll soon be exchanging emails/messages with someone interesting who you will actually want to meet.
  1. Now The Fun Begins.
    Not going to lie. There will be times when someone cancels a date as you are actually on the way to meet them, times when in between arranging a date and meeting up the other party has said they’ve met someone (they’re a player) and times when people are obviously in a relationship and just want a penpal. Don’t let this put you off though. On the flip side there will be times when you’ve had a lovely date with a lovely person ( they’re just not for you), had dates with someone who have made you laugh all evening and dates with good looking people with absolutely no personality. A bit like the old days and hopefully you’ll meet someone who you click with and on-line dating will just be a thing of the past. In the meantime, before you hit paydirt and find someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, you’re going to have to actually go on a date.

I suggest you keep it short, there’s nothing worse than spending hours with someone with nothing to say. Meeting for a coffee is always a good one as you can keep it short if you’re both just not feeling it and have another mocha chocca double shot vanilla whatsit if you’re both enjoying yourselves. Dress to impress as yes it’s a cliché but first impressions do count. Your date is just as likely to be as nervous as you are about meeting but hopefully you’ve had a couple of phone conversations before the date to get to know a little bit about each other. The main thing though is just enjoy it and take each new experience as it comes. You’re back in the game!


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We think you’d agree that what you say and how you say it when you’re talking to your spouse or partner can make a HUGE difference in how they respond to you..

Say it one way and they want to fight, argue or pull away…

Say it another way and it’s like you’re teenagers in love who can’t get enough of each other again…

Learn Our magic words That Pull Them Close


Some people (hopefully not you) might think that using “love scripts” might be boring or won’t work to get your partner to open their heart to you and give you more of the love you want…

But that’s not true at all.

Using love scripts filed with magic words when you talk to your spouse or partner is sort of like watching a romantic comedy movie…

The movie is scripted but that doesn’t mean that it’s not funny just because it’s scripted–it actually means that the
script is FUNNY.

It’s the same way in your relationship…

If your partner hasn’t listened to you in the past and you’ve had trouble being understood…

It’s always a whole lot better to “script” what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it using magic words
than just trying to “wing it” and hope they open their heart and want to come closer to you.

It’s in asking yourself this…

“Is what I’m about to say (and how I’m going to say it) going to pull them closer to me and make them want to open their heart to me in this moment?”

If the answer is a true YES… then use it (say it).

If the answer is a no when you ask yourself that question–then you don’t want to say it that way.

Here’s an example of a “love words” you might use in combination with our “magic words” that works every
single time…

Instead of saying something like…

“Why would you want to do that?” or “That won’t work” when you don’t like what your partner is about to do or you don’t think what they’re about to do is the best way to do something…

You might try the statement (in the form of a question)…

“Would you tell me more about that?”

or simply…

“Tell me more about that…”

This way by using a phrase and question like this, you’ll be inviting much more openness and connection from
your spouse or partner just by using your words in a certain way .

Magic Relationship words Really Do Work…..

When you use them to “script out” what to say or how to say it, it’s like you’re planning for success in your conversations to help you create more love and connection between the two of you and THAT is a good thing.

Ignore all of those cynical lawyer jokes. There are plenty of amazing things about attorneys…here are just 15 of them!

15 Reasons to Date a Lawyer

  1. Quoting your date will make you sound smarter: “My boyfriend is a lawyer and he says…”
  2. Your mom and dad will be impressed. Plus: A lawyer in the family is always a good thing!
  3. Most lawyers are fantastic dressers. (Yes, there’s more than one suit in his/her closet.)
  4. Lawyers are financially secure.
  5. Lawyers know how to present themselves well — and up the charm. Your date will likely make a great impression with your friends and colleagues.
  6. Your date will stand up for you, even when you’re wrong.
  7. Lawyers are often invited to interesting social events. Most of them include an open bar.
  8. Lawyers are very experienced negotiators and excel at conflict resolution.
  9. Like to debate? Your date is always up for that type of challenge.
  10. Lawyers have good memories — or at least good note-taking skills.
  11. Speaking of note-taking, there will be plenty of free legal pads lying around.
  12. Your date will have interesting law-school stories (and lots of life experience). As a general rule, lawyers work hard and play hard.
  13. Lawyers are eloquent, articulate and very insightful when it comes to reading another person’s character.
  14. Eloquence is sexy. So are briefcases.
  15. If you ever need your partner’s services, he/she will work especially hard for you.

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Sometimes the best advice is really simple.Easy does it. Take a deep breath. Don’t worry, be happy. I think you get my point. Clever comedian and writer Carolyn Castiglia has come up with ten mistakes men are making during the online dating process — I would say these mishaps are extremely common. And, many women are guilty of these errors as well. Either way, enjoy her list below.

 10 Simple Mistakes Men (and Women) Make in Online Dating

  1. ‘How are you?’ is not a conversation starter. Try picking something you found interesting from my profile and asking me specifically about that. Unless this is free therapy. In that case, how much free time do you have?
  2. Spelling counts. It just does. Try spell check. It will check your grammar, too.
  3. Don’t message me again … and again … and again. Sometimes guys just don’t take the hint. If we’ve messaged and nothing came of it, then a few weeks or months later you write me again and we exchange some notes but nothing comes of it? Maybe don’t make that third attempt. We’re all busy. But nobody wants to be a back-burner date idea or your creepy obsession. Be like Adele Dazeem and Let It Go.
  4. If you look sad in all your pics, I’m going to believe you’re sad. Chin up, buddy. It can’t be that bad. Look at Ronald McDonald! He’s lovin’ it.
  5. Women don’t owe you a reply. Just because you message a woman, she does not owe you a reply. Be cool. (And this goes both ways, ladies!)
  6. Please ask about me.Something even the cool guys who are sort of good at online dating don’t seem to understand: you have to also ask me about me. It’s not just about you and what you’re interested in and what you do and what you like. I am a person with an exciting life, too, thanks. If you don’t ask me about myself when we are messaging, I will not meet up with you for a lifetime of the “YOU” show. Sorry I’m not sorry.
  7. If there is a woman in your picture, you don’t look available.Guys, please stop using pictures of you and just one other woman. Oh, she’s your friend? Okay, sure, yeah, whatever. It’s weird.
  8. First dates that last longer than a few hours are awkward. Maybe we could start by like having *a* drink or *a* coffee or going on *a* walk, rather than get together for a picnic then a sunset cruise followed by picking our wedding venue? Something that lasts 1-2 hours, tops.
  9. Seeing a movie is a bad first date idea. Why don’t we go somewhere where we can, I dunno, TALK and get to know one another? Rather than sit quietly in the dark for 2 hours listening to each other breathe?
  10. Don’t be gross.Enough said!

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Let’s face it, meeting men is hard, especially if you are over 40. You’re not meeting men at work or in bars anymore. Your circle of friends is either the same it’s been for years, or post-divorce you are now creating new friendships.

If you’ve been avoiding going online because you’re thinking that it’s only for 20 year olds…think again! Dating sites report that their fastest growing segment are people over 50. There are literally millions of men over 50 online. Online dating is the new hot spot for boomers and older adults. As a woman over forty, you need to do a little extra work. But like me, you can meet your dream man.

Ladies: 5 Must-Know Tips for Online Dating after 40

Here are five tips to consider:

#1. Be the Boss

No, I don’t mean be bossy. I mean be in control of your experience. Online dating opens you up to a thousand more possibilities, and it’s a completely new way of meeting people. Make some decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your life. How many hours will you spend each day? (Warning: this can get addictive!) What things can you do to ensure your physical and emotional well-being as you talk to and meet people? What can you learn or change to be a successful dater? Intuition and special situations will create forks in the road. And as time goes on, you’ll likely tweak some of these decisions. Considering some things up front, however, gives you a tentative roadmap and, more importantly, an expanded awareness. I want you to have fun, be open to new things, and enjoy the experience; just do it consciously and like the grownup woman that you are. Remember those jerks you met in bars 30 years ago? Well a few are still out there; they just have gray hair now. You need to be able to deal with them in a classy yet direct manner; the best way is to have a good sense of what you want and who you will “be” out there.

#2. Stand Out

Plain and simple: you have competition girlfriend. As we age, the ratio of women to men grows further apart. Some statistics say it’s as much as 11 women to each man after 55. Yikes! If you’re dating after 40, I want you to stand up and stand out. You’re reading this so you’re already ahead of the game. Make sure your pictures are great. Get them done professionally. (Come on…$150 is too much to spend to attract a fabulous man??) Your profile needs to be unique and speak to men. Here’s a tip: If your best girlfriend loves it; it probably sucks because it’s too girly. Every communication needs to scream how special you are, show your personality, and tell him you’re interested. (“Hi” on the subject line means you wait in line or get deleted. Flirt a little and have some fun.)

#3. Be Honest

You are online, but your goal is to actually meet men, yes? One of the top complaints of men is that we post pictures that are…let’s say…out of date. Just don’t do it. Post lovely, yet current, pictures. It’s disingenuous and a waste of time to do otherwise. Also, be clear about what you’re looking for. I find that at 40, 50, and beyond there is a wide spectrum of what type of partner men and women are looking for. Whether you want a dinner partner or a husband; put it out there. There’s no need to scream it, but weave it into your profile. If you want a life partner, you don’t attract that man who is out there “just having fun.”

#4. Consider a Makeover

When is the last time you updated your look? Have you changed the way you apply your makeup or wear your hair? Have you bought any new styled clothes? Doing this is as much about looking good for a man as it is about feeling good for yourself. A confident woman who takes care of herself and looks healthy is a man magnet. Go to your local department store and get a free makeup session. All the lines do this, did you know? Splurge for a fancy hair style. Check out catalogs like Coldwater Creek, J Jill, or Chicos. You don’t have to necessarily buy — but check out what’s hot (and what’s not).

#5. Check Your Baggage

Yes, I do mean don’t drag your nasty divorce, money troubles, or last case of gout into the conversation. (At least not anywhere near the beginning of getting to know someone.) But, as important, don’t drag in all those beliefs and decisions you made 20 years ago. The woman you are today is nowhere near the girl who dated way back when. It’s time to review all your checklists. Check the one that defines “the perfect man” and what he must do or not do to get to the next date. Check the one that has all your “truths” about yourself, about dating, and about men. It’s important to take time to ground yourself in who you are and what you want in your life today. Do this by yourself, with a trusted friend, or with a coach. But do it.

Let me know how it goes after you implement these 5 tips!




It’s the new year and that means there’s no better time than right now to jump online and create (or update) your dating profile so that it stands out. Just like getting ready to go out with your single friends on a Friday night, you need to prepare and put some thought into how you want to present yourself. Don’t rush this process. Think about how you want to make an impact on others.

To help you on your way, here are some practical tips to make a lasting positive impact with your online profile.



1. Choose a good username

Your user name is one of the first things that people will notice online. You can excite someone or turn them off immediately just by what you decide to call yourself (your handle). So avoid choosing a name that is offensive, sleazy, try hard or bland. Instead, use a name that reflects your character and won’t scare people away.

2. Be honest

Honesty is the best policy when creating your online profile. It might seem like you’ll get more interest if you leave things out or stretch the truth about your experiences – but in the end, this will only bring you more problems down the track as you get exposed. Instead – be authentic. Tell people about the real you and when you do meet up and get to know someone you’ll have nothing to hide.

3. Use a recent photo

A key part of your profile is your photo. Like it or not, people will make judgments about you just from what they see. You get 11 times more interest from singles if you use a good photo rather than not using one at all. So pick some recent ones that you feel confident about and present yourself well.

4. Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes

This might sound like a minor issue but it says a lot about how seriously you take the online dating process. Making spelling mistakes and grammatical errors is a bad look. It suggests you’re rushed about the process, and don’t care so much about how you present yourself to others. Details really matter, so check this over before putting up your profile.

5. Be specific rather than bland

When you’re writing your profile, it can be very tempting to use long lists of generic words and phrases to describe yourself and your experiences. Don’t do this. Instead, get specific about yourself so you can stand out and show how unique you are. For instance, rather than describing yourself as being a ‘wine lover’, you can go into more detail such as ‘you love drinking chilled chardonnay in the summer while watching the sun go down.

6. Get a friend to help

For some people, writing about themselves can be a very challenging task. No problem – it’s time then to enlist the help of a trusted friend to get you up and running. They know you very well, so they can give you ideas about the content of your profile as well as which photos to use and what words and phrases to stay away from. They want the best for you, so listen to their feedback and let them help put the best version of you out there to the online dating world.

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Your profile is your face on dating sites. Thus, you have to put as much attention as possible while creating your profile – this will increase your chances to find your perfect match.


Dating Advice for Women

Lets start with your screen name, or login name as some sites tend to call it. Avoid using the words like ‘xxx’, ‘sexy’, ‘sweet’, ‘hot’ and so on – like ‘sweetlady2012′. I don’t know why, but after 5 years of managing online dating websites I know for sure – this kind of usernames are mostly used by scammers. Instead, you should think if you have a hobby or remind some word that could work as your identity. It should be relevant to you somehow. If you like to go to gym or like to drive Audi, watch baseball or listen to Jimi Hendrix – then you can put these words into your profile name. And probably add some numbers if it has been already taken.

The next big thing is your “about me” field. Never, never and never copy and paste this data from someone else’s profile, even from another dating website. This is very easy to verify, and many sites verify this automatically using Google Search. If you use someone else’s description then this would lower your trust rank. You should try your best to write your own words about yourself. You could say, “hey, i’m not very good at writing essays”, and my answer to you will be very simple: you can describe literally anything that you understand and that you know quite well. If you can’t write about something then you don’t know it well. If you can’t write about your personality, then you are not yet sure which of your personal traits are your strengths and which ones are your weaks. And this is very important to identify before meeting new people for dating. Surely I’m talking about serious relationship. So, if you still have an issue, then just write a row of words which describe you and things that you like and which you are good at. Then, when you have a list of words, you can connect them inbetween with other words, and you will receive a good “about me” description 🙂 Just start right now – this is a half way to success. If you already have “about me” description, then probably this is a good time to take a look at it again and update it, isn’t it? 🙂

The last but not least thing about pictures – avoid putting additional information on your photo, like email address or your telephone number. Otherwise some dating sites may ban your profile.

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There is Mr. Right, and then there’s Mr. Right NOW. Mr Right Now is the one who you see and are immediately attracted to. He’s a smooth talker, well dressed, well traveled, has a good job, and could romance you into bed that same night. Mr Right is the one who you may be attracted to (or not be attracted to), may not have a great job (but is motivated, the most important trait…), may be somewhat awkward when speaking to you, but is attentive and respectful of you from the get-go.

Dating Advice

Dating Advice

Why would we rather pick the Perfect 10 than the “solid five” who we may have more in common with? Could it be because we have an ego that tells us that we could do “better” in the looks department? Ken Page, L.C.S.W. a relationship researcher, writes in Psychology Today that “People who are willing to date in the mid-range are more likely to find real and lasting love. It’s not a matter of selling out, because immediate attraction isn’t the best forecaster of future passion. Intense attractions blind us to the actual quality of our interaction with others, and to the actual characters of the people we date. Attractions can grow.” It’s best to cultivate a greater attraction than just that initial spark you may have with the perfect ten.

Because of our urge to date Mr Right Now, many potentially wonderful relationships will never be cultivated—which could be why it seems we date so much more now to find The One than our parents did. There are ways that we can be more conscious of the people we find attractive. For example, if you normally date the “bad boys,” remind yourself that they haven’t worked for you in the past; and therefore, they’re probably Mr. Right Now. Time to re-evaluate your approach!

Anyone who is online dating is well aware of the daunting task of weeding through online dating profiles. We’ve all been there, done that and many have written blogs about it! It’s not so much fun, to say the least. Some people even hire other people to do it for them. Well since most of us can’t afford to hire matchmakers, I’m going to try and show you how to weed through online dating profiles yourselves.

First and foremost, what are weeds anyway? The dictionary defines a weed as “a plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth; especially, one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants“. Relevant to online dating profiles? Um, ya! The online dating weeds are usually the loudest and most charming, they tell you what you want to hear, how you want to hear it and they definitely “choke out” quality profiles. But they’re oh so irresistible aren’t they? How many times do we end up with time wasters when dating? A LOT! A lot more than we’d even like to admit. That being said, each dating experience teaches us a lesson and we move on from it much smarter (we hope!).

Have a great profile. There is no substitute for a good profile that clearly and concisely indicates who you are and what you are looking for. This way, someone who is actually serious about looking for someone just like you will be able to see you among their weeds. If you need some easy tips here are my Top Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating Profiles (with Video explanation).

2. Don’t take the suggested top matches very seriously. They rarely are accurate, regardless of their “exclusive algorithms” promising to match you with your ideal partner. They usually are people who are online the most and are guaranteed to respond so that you will go on more and use their site / app more. You should determine your OWN top matches by researching everyone.

3. Effectively Search. Make sure that when you use the search function you fill it out completely, especially if you are looking for a specific type of person. The more specific you are the smaller the number of matches, but remember quality NOT quantity is what you’re looking for.

4. Look at the picture. They say a “pictures says a thousand words”, well that is even more true in online dating profiles. Look that they have what looks to be a recent picture that matches their profile description (do they look their age? their weight?). If all their pictures are mirror selfies (get a friend!), group pictures (I will ALWAYS assume you’re the ugly one), unclear photos (what are you trying to hide?) or glamour shots (just who do you think you are?) just move on to another profile. They aren’t being authentic. A good profile will have around 3-4 pictures maximum and they will tell you a story about who they are.

5. Read the tag line. I always say someone’s tag line is their slogan, it should draw people in and make them want to learn more. What does their tag line tell you? Is it positive or negative? Is it funny? Is it weird? Tag lines like “here I go again” or “boring people need not apply” tell me this person has major baggage and it’s not your job to help them carry it.

6. Read the profile. This is VERY important. In order to determine whether or not this person is right for you, you need to read through and see where they’re at in their life. You can tell a lot by what people say (or don’t say). For example, if they write “I’ll fill this in later” or “ask and I’ll tell you” then this person isn’t serious about meeting someone, they’re there for fun so unless that’s what you want, move on. Make sure they haven’t written too much either, that could indicate desperation. Any negativity and do’s and don’ts in the profile that indicate baggage are red flags. This person has been burnt and they aren’t over it and will probably judge you by those standards. Move on.

7. Assess interactions. When you actually meet someone you want to talk to then see what it’s like back and forth. Do you get one word answers? Then chances are they aren’t really that interested. Ask questions that will help you know them and their intentions better. For example, if they said they are ambitious ask them about it, if they are a parent ask them about their kids, things relevant to their lives and that will allow you to weed out the ones you don’t want (like someone who is still living with their “ex” for example).

8. Listen to your gut. Your gut will be your best guide if someone is worth meeting up with or not. Listen to your instincts. If something feels off during your conversations it usually is. Remember that.

9. Take it offline. When you connect with someone in a positive way online then you need to take it offline as soon as possible. I say a week, two weeks maximum if you are busy or have other stuff going on. If they keep making excuses and cancelling then that’s a definitely red flag. You’re not looking for a pen pal, you’re looking for a potential partner. Don’t let someone waste your time. Sometimes you may have mad chemistry online but when you meet in person it’s terrible, so taking it offline will ensure you don’t spend too much time getting to know the wrong person for you.

So there you go! My list of how to weed through online dating profiles. There certainly isn’t any surefire way of weeding through all the crap, some weeds do creep through somehow, but now you have the tools to stomp them out for good!

some may be looking for a casual dinner partner on Friday nights, others may be looking for a new father-figure for their children. I make no claims to be in the mindset of everybody, but from my lips to your ears, here is my (fairly typical) thought process as I log-in to my online dating profile.

It starts with a look at the subject line and first sentence I can read in my flooded inbox. (Often I’d only check once every week or two.) You can read my full blog posts regarding what “pickup lines” do and do not work elsewhere on the site but the gist of it is this—if it’s nothing more than “hi” I probably won’t be clicking through to the message. If it’s too forward or calling me something like “babe,” I probably won’t be clicking through to the message. If it’s your second or third email in a row, I probably won’t be clicking through to the message.


Araboosh Dating

Then the superficial side kicks in (hey, I promised you honesty, didn’t I?). Truth is, superficiality isn’t the first thought primarily because thumbnails are too small to see much of. However, this goes beyond “hot or not.” The superficial aspect can quickly help narrow down which users seem outside the age range guidelines I’ve set. They provide a glimpse into whether we have the same fitness (or couch potato) life habits as one another. Ultimately, they show me how you have decided to portray yourself while seeking a woman’s attention and approval. If your headshot is red-faced at a wild party, I am automatically disinterested (even though I am admittedly a fan of a good party and pub crawl).

After finally narrowing down the inbox, I start conversations that usually have to have some solid back and forth before I feel comfortable meeting in person. That’s a pretty subjective guideline, but it’s less of a time-frame and more of finding a good vibe and comfort level with the internet stranger at hand.

As a woman, I’m also constantly paranoid about my safety and integrity when it comes to meeting new people- especially stemming from a virtual means! This is why I won’t just go for coffee after your first email, or give you my personal phone number right-off-the-bat for ease of talking. What if that’s the man that ends up being crazy… then he has the ease of blowing up my cell phone at all time of night!

The point is, it’s not about being coy or stubborn or high-maintenance. When I go in to an online dating site, I aim to find the same quality (or higher!) man that I would interact with in real life. Just because I have created a profile on this site doesn’t mean I’m in a hurry to settle down and often that leads to delayed response message times or a refusal to rush off to a date. My online persona reflects my real-life beliefs… good things are worth waiting for; don’t settle for convenience.

Instead of waiting for sunny skies and T-shirt weather to try to hurriedly jump out of the winter exercise-and-eating slump, get ahead of the game. Says Vanessa Packer, cofounder of ModelFIT: “Start now so you have the time to adjust to the changes you’ll be making in your diet and exercise.”

Get thee to cardio class…or go running or hit some spin. “Some form of cardio is a great way to shed unwanted weight—and excess water weight as well,” Packer says. “If you can start off with a short run or buy a jump rope and do it for 30 minutes a day.” Build up a little bit of a time from there so that you don’t burn out and you stay committed.

Cut down on comfort foods. We’re still dealing with snow aplenty, but that doesn’t mean we have to stick to the winter comfort foods we’ve been knowing and loving for the past few months. Making pasta with cold-weather-friendly spaghetti squash instead of noodles cuts nearly 200 calories; cauliflower-crust pizza is delish, still comfort-foody, and can save you up to 100 calories in the crust department alone.
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First dates can feel like job interviews sometimes — what with picking out the right outfit to wear, making sure you say the right things, and trying to keep your vibes good and your spirits up and as with job interviews, it’s important to go into a first date with confidence.


Sometimes the best way to ease first date jitters is to go to your version of Cheers — where everybody knows your name (or at least, your face.) By going to a familiar location, you’re introducing a sense of comfort into your date, almost as if you were going on a date at your home. And if you know the person and you’re most comfortable at home cooking instead of going out, then go ahead and invite them to your place for dinner. Writer/actress Amy Sedaris does that, and you can’t go wrong by her. Be aware though that your date could misinterpret this as “come to my place for sex”, so if you’re not going for that, pick a neutral but well-known place .

Don’t hold yourself up to a standard of perfection. Trying to remind yourself to be the most witty,  attractive, intelligent, ten out of ten will most likely cause you to be nervous. It’s impossible to get a second or third date with the right partner when you’re trying to be chameleon and become what you think he’s looking for. Instead, show up as your authentic, real-deal self. Your date can sense your nerves whether you know it or not, because trying to fit into someone else’s box can cause you to emanate a vibe of “over-eagerness” that will definitely turn off your date.

What’s your advice for having confidence on a first date? Give your comments.

As you may already know, girls on online dating sites receive far more messages than their male counterparts. So sometimes you’re just not going to get a reply, and that’s the deal. Maybe you’re not her type, maybe she’s met someone, maybe she took some really bad acid and is now only attracted to horses. No need to be bitter, just move on.


But, while it is important to remember that not everyone will respond and there is no such thing as a guaranteed response online dating, I can offer some tips to give you an edge over the poor sap who is at this moment hitting “refresh” on his inbox again instead of doing something productive like reading this helpful blog.

Site is just big boxes of single people who are trying to meet each other. Nobody shows them how to come up with clever usernames. Nobody teaches them what photos to post. Nobody illustrates how to create a unique, compelling online dating profile. Nobody teaches effective email techniques based on actual research.

Write down in the comments and we will do my best to reply. See? You can get a girl to respond on an online dating site.

Maybe you fall into this category of people deciding to try online dating, either for the first time or once again. I would encourage you to do so if you’re thinking about it, but I also want to offer some advice on how you should set your goal for trying online dating.


First, recognize that February 14th is a rather arbitrary date to set as your goal. Does Valentine’s Day really have that much to do with why you want a relationship? Sure, you’d feel better on that one day if you had someone to date…but wouldn’t you feel better on ALL the days if you had someone to date?

Second, as a part of your goal recognize that this won’t necessarily be easy to find a great relationship. And this is true for most resolutions…we generally don’t resolve to correct the easy problems in our life. So recognize that this will be a challenge. Mentally prepare yourself to put in the time even when you find it frustrating. Of all the advice I could give, to be persistent is the one that I think will have the biggest impact in your online dating success.

So if you’re struggling to meet people in real life…and you’ve tried online dating with low to mixed results…and you want to find a relationship…but aren’t sure how to make work for you… this is your lucky day.

In a recent study conducted at Cornell University and the University of Wisconsin-Madison it was discovered (no surprise here) that 80 percent of people using online dating sites lied about their height, weight, or age. Here are a few more things men tend to lie about when online.

His Job
Oh? You’re about to go out with a good-looking CEO of a booming start-up? Don’t be surprised if that means he has a great idea for an app and is working out of his parents’ garage. Most men have a tendency to inflate their titles or responsibilities in order to impress women. It’s not a great idea to ask about his salary, but a safe bet is to ask about his title and how large a company he works for. CEO is very impressive, but not if the company is him and his dog.

 His Intention
Just because a man is on a dating site does not mean he’s looking for a long-term relationship. In fact, if you’re on Tinder, you should assume that the guy is trying to get laid and be pleasantly surprised when it turns out he wants to date you. Aside from certain apps like Heavenly Sinful, where you’re explicitly asked to say whether you want to hook up or date, the guy’s intention is often unknown.

His Height
On average, guys will say they are two inches taller than they actually are, and will assume you’re not going to bring a tape measure to the first date. If you’re curious, you can wait until his wallet’s open while paying for (at least his share) of the bill and say, “Oh! Let me see the photo on your driver’s license. Mine is horrible.” There, as clear as day, is his height (no one cares enough to lie to the DMV).

His Weight
Men (well, everyone) will post photos of themselves from when they are looking their physical best. So if you show up on date number one and the guy is looking twenty pounds overweight, don’t be shocked. If you’re lucky it may go the other way; he may have just recovered from breaking up with his long-term girlfriend and lost the gut men tend to accrue when they no longer feel they need to impress their partner. Now that he’s single he wants to look great. But the pessimist in me leans toward warning you that he may be a bit heavier than you imagined.

His Worldliness
He may say he loves to travel but that doesn’t guarantee he’s ever left the United States. He may say he knows a lot about wine but that might just mean he knows that he likes Pinot Noir. Don’t assume anything based on the guy’s stated hobbies or interests; just like his job description it is likely inflated and made to sound more sophisticated than it actually is.

His Relationship Status
I hate to say it, but even if a guy makes himself available on a dating site it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s there to seriously date. Single can mean anything from “haven’t had a girlfriend in five years and looking for sex” to “newly divorced and sad.” There are men who are going through a break-up (but it’s not quite over with their gf) or are in an open relationship and they are on these sites because it seems innocent enough, but they are not emotionally available to be with you.

His Age
One of the most common lies on dating profiles is a man fibbing about his age. More often than not he’s likely older than he is. If you’re in your early twenties and a man says he’s 29 there’s a chance he might actually be a 35 year-old who knows you would never date someone more than ten years your senior. If that’s your thing though, then search for men in that age range… but hope they’re not in their 40s.

1. “Your family really scares me.”  Either the constant contact, or the gruff father, or the crazy sister… there’s some aspect here that he will never name (you don’t mess with a girl’s family) but it scares the sh*t out of him.

2. “I’m not sure how good I am at that sex thing you seem to enjoy.” Whatever “that thing” may be, however much you’ve encouraged or praised it, he’s still not sure if he’s a pro at it and feels a little self-conscious each time. The female body is an elaborate and wondrous thing.

3. “I’m not 100% where I want to be professionally.” Who is, really? Even if he’s wildly successful he’ll still have ambition to continue to climb whatever ladder he’s on. The more a man says how amazing he’s doing professionally, the more insecure he usually is about it.

4. “I have a body complex as well.” He sucks in his gut every time he takes off his shirt and hopes you don’t notice.

5. “I have occasional doubts about us.” No one in a relationship is 100 percent sure all of the time. Mostly he’s head over heels for you, but once in a blue moon he does a double take while contemplating your future.

6. “Playing with my friend’s kid completely triggers my paternal instinct.” He doesn’t want to freak you out, and he’s not necessarily ready for kids, but damn is that baby cute.

7. “He’s scared to say ‘I love you’ first, too.” Unless you get him drunk. Then he might just blurt out “I love you,” on the third date. True story.

8. “I am completely in love with your [insert strange trait here].” There is one thing about you that every time he sees or hears it he softens a little bit inside. But that’s his secret, and maybe it’s okay that he keeps that particular treasured act to himself.


I know it might sound outdated to say that romance still matters in dating – but it continues to be a really effective way of making a great impression in the early stages of your relationship. As things progress, it’s a wonderful way to keep things fun and fresh. It also shows your partner that you desire them and want them to feel special.

The great thing about romance is that there’s no one particular way to show your partner that you’re into them. You can be creative and use all types of different methods to inject your new relationship with spice. And it’s not a male/female thing either. Regardless of your gender, if you’re with someone special, then it’s time to show them your romantic side.


So with this in mind, here’s some ways to be romantic with your new partner when dating or in a relationship.


#1: Organize date nights

As your relationship develops, it’s important to keep creating one-on-one time with your partner so you keep developing that passion and romance. So take the lead, step up and organize some special date nights to increase your time together.

#2: Have spontaneous sex

Think about getting spontaneous and experimental with your sex life. It’s very easy to fall into routines when it comes to intimacy, so make the effort to spice things up. Find out what you both want to explore with each other and jump right in!

#3: Take an interest in their day

It might sound like a small thing, but asking open-ended questions and taking an interest in your partner’s day is vital to building romance. It shows your partner that you care, that they matter to you and that they’re really important in your life.

#4: Focus on hellos and goodbyes

Whenever you leave or arrive – make a point of firstly going to your partner and giving them a hug and a kiss, so you’re touching base as a unit. Hellos and goodbyes shouldn’t be taken for granted – they are a great way of showing your love interest that they really matter to you.

#5: Send thoughtful texts, messages, emails

With the advancement of technology, there’s many more ways now to stay connected with your partner. So take the time to send them thoughtful and loving messages to show that you’re thinking of them.

You’ll also find that if you’re being romantic with your date or partner, it’s more likely that they will reciprocate the behavior. So if you want more romance in your life, take the lead and start by being more romantic yourself!

Research has long shown that married people are generally healthier and live longer than unmarried people. Married people are less likely to get cancer and heart attacks, and have even been shown to be at lower risk for dementia. One study found married people to be much less likely to suffer from headaches, back pain, and psychological distress. They are also more active and less likely to smoke.

But while marriage is distinctively connected to health and wellbeing on paper, recent research has shown that this doesn’t extend to troubled couples. In fact, unhealthy relationships can have negative effects that far outweigh those faced by unmarried people. A 2005 study published in “The Archives of General Psychiatry” found that couples who experienced high levels of hostility were more susceptible to illness than happier couples. It has also been shown that unhappily married couples are more likely to experience chronic illness, heart attacks and high cholesterol.

While it’s normal to experience some tension and emotional distress within a marriage, you don’t want to let the scale tip too far the wrong way, or you’re at risk for more than just stress – psychologically as well as physically. Here are seven ways to strengthen your marriage:



Reintroduce Dating
When you’re married, it’s easy to become caught up in the rush of day-to-day life and lose sight of doing things as a couple. Think back to when you were in the honeymoon phase. What did you and your partner enjoy doing together? Maybe you loved going to the zoo, or art museums, or hiking. Perhaps you love it when your partner gives you back massages, but you haven’t asked for one in quite some time. Whatever it is that will keep you feeling romantic towards each other, reintroduce it into your marriage.

Show Your Appreciation
If there’s something you appreciate about your spouse, say it! According to John Gottman, Ph.D., marriage expert and the author of The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, couples who regularly compliment each other are happier because praise reminds people that they are loved. Don’t assume that your partner automatically knows what you love about them. Whether you appreciate his or her parenting skills, cooking expertise or outfit, tell them. You’ll soon begin to see praise coming your way too.

Do Small Things for Each Other
Maybe your spouse loves a specific kind of wine, but rarely buys it. Find little ways to show your affection and appreciation. If you make the first move, your partner will be pleasantly surprised, and together you can begin a new trend of mutual small kindnesses.

Learn to Edit Yourself
According to Gottman, the most successful couples don’t say every single critical thing that comes to mind when they are discussing touchy topics.

Respect Each Other
Mutual respect is one of the most important aspects of any healthy relationship. Be courteous. Don’t talk down to your partner, and make sure to show them the same politeness you would to anyone else.

Be Positive
A big difference between stable and unstable marriages is the amount of positive interactions that take place. Constructive criticism is important; just don’t allow it to dominate your interactions. Engage actively with your partner. Ask them lots of opinion questions. And don’t forget to laugh.

Seek Help
Don’t be afraid to go to couples counseling or engage in other activities that will help strengthen your marriage. If you struggle with one issue in particular, such as sex, read a book so you can learn how to unite as a couple. If you and your spouse argue about money, see a marriage therapist who can offer wise advice on how to communicate more effectively.

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